A repository of some excellent toasts for that special moment. Whether drinking with friends or giving a speech with the president, below is a list of toasts perfect for any occasion.
- May we get what we want, but never what we deserve.
- Here's to those —
Who've seen us at our best
And seen us at our worst
And can't tell the difference.
- Here's to the floor, who will hold you when no one else will.
- Here's to my arms for staying by my sides
Here's to my legs for supporting me
And here's to my liver, for putting up with my shit.
- To absent friends.
- A toast to those who wish me well
And all the rest can go to hell.
- To Hell —
May the stay there
Be as enjoyable as the way there.
- May the best of your past be the worst of your future.
- Here's to sleeping double, living single, and testing negative.
- To low necklines and high skirts
May the two never meet.
- Here's to the storks that bring good babies
The crows that bring bad babies
And the swallows that bring no babies at all!
- Here's to a long life and a happy one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one.
- Here's to good friends and bad decisions!
- Here's to you and here's to me
The best of friends we'll ever be
And if we ever disagree, well
Fuck you and here's to me.
- May our sons have rich fathers and beautiful mothers!
- To our wives and girlfriends
May they never meet.
- May the gods keep the wolves in the hills
And the women in our beds!
- To being single, seeing double, and sleeping triple.
- Some ships are wooden ships
But those ships may sink
The best ships are friendships
And to those ships we drink.
- Here's to milk, eggs, bread and cinnamon.
- Cheers to our parents children
They're the greatest!
- Here's to swimmin' with bow legged women.
- To the women that love us
To the women that don't
To the women that fuck us
We love them the most.
- May we grow old
But never grow up.
- Here's to condoms and rattlesnakes
Two things I don't fuck with.
- Life is a waste of time
Time is a waste of life
So let's get wasted all the time
And have the time of our life!
- If beer was a river and I was a duck
I'd swim to the bottom and drink it all up
But this beer ain't no river and I ain't no duck
So here's to you, here's to me
Let's just get fucked up.
- Never above you
Never below you
Always beside you.
- To your casket
May it be made of 100 year old oak!
We shall plant the seed tomorrow.
- To the black man
Thanks for taking it all in stride.
- To honor
To getting honor
To keeping honor
And if you can't cum in her, cum on her.
- May we never go to hell
But always be on our way.
- To the night we'll never remember
With the friends we'll never forget!